How many of you have lost your friend or a dear one to depression, psychiatric diseases and maybe suicide? I have lost two of my friends to suicide and two to depression to the point that they became total recluse. They refuse to keep in touch with anybody. In the long run, such statistics begin to gnaw you with guilt. If only you knew how to prevent it, if only you knew what to do, if only you could stop it... and many other 'if's. I know I have started the year with a very bad, sad and inauspicious topic but maybe one of the most well meaning post I have ever attempted. This topic will not tell you how to deal with them, or what to do because even after being in a medical field I still am clueless on what I should have exactly done back then...
Maybe a few suggestions here and there, but the post is more about identifying the danger signs, that someone is slipping away to his/her own private hell. Maybe your better sense will know exactly what to do if something of the sort is happening to one of your friends. But first of course we have to know and not only know but have to acknowledge the signs that our friends subconsciously sent to the world that they need help; that they need a friend; that they need someone to hold on...
Eyes- The first signs that you will find will be in the eyes. The look of resignation, of defeat, a lack of spark or sometimes a desperate glance for help. I am not speaking about the tired eyes of an exhausted person, which may be there concurrently, but of a defeated person. A lifeless soul less blank look! A person can try to deceive all if he or she wants but he / she cannot hide one's pain in his/her eyes. So eyes will give you a fair idea that your friend might be in need of a 'friend'.
Gender statistics- Though it is said that females are more prone to depression, its the males who have higher suicide rates, but the bottom line is, anyone can have a bad time according to one's circumstances. By gender statistics, I was trying to covey what might have a greater impact on the psyche of a person. What I am stating is not backed by scientific research data, but rather by observation over the years among the people around me. Heart break, family matters, marital problems or problems with one's in laws have a deeper and devastating effect on the females especially if she is from a traditional background, while financial problems, or matters where one's honor is at stake has a deadlier effect on males- like job loss, financial loss, family honour etc etc. Keep that in mind when you have that strong urge to be impatient to your friend when he/she shares his/her troubles with you. You might be over looking a major disaster.
Silence or withdrawal- is not a good sign and more so if it is sudden. A person who is always complaining if suddenly becomes silent or withdraws from contact without any explanation is an indication that the person has lost the urge to fight back and to survive. The spark will be missing from his/her actions and he/she will appear as dead as can be, which is simply a bad sign.
Apathy to music- This is a sign that is mostly missed out. Music has an universal appeal. No body is tone deaf. Every one has an ear for music, the taste may differ from person to person, but if you come across someone who says that he/she doesn't like music, take it from me, something is surely wrong with that person. One might be contemptuous of the present day music or of modern music or he or she might be snobbish in her selection, but no one can be so devoid of a soul so as to not be moved by music or good music.
Volatility of emotion- If you observe someone reacting suddenly to a trigger , as an exaggerated response-as in anger or outrage, tears, fear or inappropriate reactions as in laughter at moments of grave seriousness, then that is a sure shot sign that the person is deeply stressed over something and might have a nervous breakdown any moment. Don't brush him/her off as being hypersensitive, no matter how much you are tempted too, because there is always a reason for hypersensitivity.
If some one repeatedly keeps on saying he / she has a strong urge to kill him/her self no matter how frivolously it is mentioned, keep an eye on that person. That urge is called suicidal tendency and is to be taken very seriously. You may think of of his/her antics as attention seeking behaviour but obviously it is definitely something that requires your attention. There have been many instances when people have committed suicide after multiple weak attempts. Attention seeking behaviour is a short of SOS call to the world that the person needs some TLC . Yes that's all the person needs and not some superstar like treatment as is made out scornfully by people. Obviously if the person had been happy and secure in his/her world, there would never be the need to seek attention. There surely must be some issues...hence the need for the behaviour.
Irritability- Unexplained irritability of your near one , over petty things, is a clear indication that something is eating his/her mind that which for some reason he or she is unable to share with you. It is a bit tricky to draw him or her out of it , but drawing out the truth is very necessary . The ensuing catharsis will help that person, if not to a greater magnitude, but still it will.
Of course you will encounter other much discussed signs like insomnia, decreased appetite, laziness. lack of attention etc etc, which too indicates that the person is on the brink of depression.
Its a crazy race out there.Some cope with the stress, while others succumb. Not all are strong enough to stay afloat, but if you get a chance to extend a helping hand to someone in need, it might be the very life line that might save his/her life. Think about it.
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